The goal of LEVEL 1
The completion of LEVEL 1 -> STEP 7, is defined as the Mid Life Crisis or the Spiritual Emergency (emerging). The entire process of living through these first seven steps is to accumulate what humans consider BAGGAGE or divine considers unique life EXPERIENCES so that the soul can have a singular personality and a perspective that can grow the collective experience.
The following stories have been taken from my first book “A 94-Chakra Journey” where I documented my own physical symptoms that allowed me to recognize I had limited my life experience which leads to the EMERGING process of the spirit.
SACRAL CHAKRA (step 2)
As you explore your own sacral chakra, you’ll notice its focus is on creativity, passion, sexual energy, personal identity and emotional boundaries. In my case, the second chakra expresses some of the most vibrant parts of my being, like painting and the passion I bring to situations, but it also hides some of my darkest secrets. A past victim of sexual abuse and an abuser of others, I am someone who learned how to use emotional manipulation to get what I wanted out of life. This led to me having unhealthy expectations and understandings of one-on-one relationships. You see, our second chakra deals with all the one-on-one personal relationships we have, and furthermore, how we conduct ourselves within those relationships. I am keenly aware of how to read and measure the second chakra energy of others; mostly for me this was a learned primal instinct, used as a protective defense mechanism. Later in life, because I was so acutely aware of people's second chakra energy, I unknowingly used this sensitivity to my benefit and manipulated people using this own second chakra energy
As stated I was unfortunately a victim of abuse. If I can be thankful for anything, I can be grateful this was not a constant theme in my life, though it did lead to a cascade of several damaging outcomes. My entire method of receiving energies from the sacral chakra center became convoluted and twisted; these are wires I am still trying to uncross today. As a result of the abuse, I became overly sexually active. Therefore, I grew up with an unhealthy understanding of sexual relationships. I learned very young that sex was a secret for me and therefore I have a very hard time expressing myself when it comes to my sexuality. I was very good at using my femininity to get what I wanted. I closed myself off emotionally to men and allowed for only superficial relationships to take place. Back then the sexual abuse made me think that I would have to provide for myself and that I could never rely on others to give me what I needed emotionally or physically because no matter how genuine they might appear, all they really wanted from me was something physical.
Because I was manipulated at such a young age through this chakra center, I found that later on, this was how I interpreted almost all of my one-on-one relationships. I either manipulated my partners or they manipulated me. Because I was not open emotionally and not fully aware of the barricade I built, I didn’t connect genuinely with others in close relationships at work, with friends, or with my family. It felt to me as if every one-on-one relationship came with an expectation or a hidden agenda. Even to this day in my marriage, I find myself sizing up or comparing what we bring to the relationship and using this as a form of manipulation to gain power over him. This jaded view of interpersonal relationships was a horrible way to grow up as a young girl and is one of my biggest struggles to this day, as I still attempt to rise above its stronghold on me and heal. I was twenty-seven when meditation finally allowed me to see myself through the eyes of this chakra and discover how I had used manipulation over the years.