Level 2 the Emotional Plane (step 2)

THE GOAL OF LEVEL 2

Level 2 is identified by the EMOTIONS. People who get caught up in emotions, people who try to understand the emotions. The problem with this level is that you have to get triggered to understand what is YOU and what is not YOU. That means in order to elevate out of this level you have to be willing to get triggered and do you work in this world while in connection to other people’s crap! That means you trust yourself enough and your purpose that you become vulnerable in front of other people and don’t have to defend or run away from what you feel, instead you use the TRIGGERS of the emotions to go inward and figure out what is happening in connection to all of the life experiences you accumulated during LEVEL 1.

SACRAL CHAKRA (step 2)

Today is the day I start the healing and repair process in my sacral chakra. It is 11:00 this morning and I am sitting outside on the peaceful, but overly dirty and presumably never cleaned screened-in-porch of our timeshare unit. I am in the Poconos in Eastern Pennsylvania with my husband’s family for a reunion-style trip.  I started today’s meditation like I always do, with a grounding visualization. After calling on my angels and guides for help I started to ask for guidance in my sacral chakra. Once deep enough into the meditation I started to travel down my energetic body visualizing myself descending towards my pelvic area in the sacral chakra center. Once at my destination I called out for help and guidance to heal and further make progress towards a healthy and open sacral chakra. 

After establishing my intention, my first priority was to ask for help mending old wounds from years ago. These wounds have long gone, but still, have power over some of my subconscious programming. I also asked for guidance on what needed to be implemented to personally ensure I would come through this meditation with a properly functioning sacral chakra. "Trust" was the first word I heard. I was told in life I needed to trust others. From here I asked for any images that could provide more clarity. I saw my family of three each standing in their own violet-colored bubbles in front of me. This is a meaningful symbol for my mental Rolodex, for I was taught a long time ago that in order to protect against negative energies I should practice visually putting a violet-colored bubble around my body. By doing this I could still be sensitive to the energy but protect against negativity. I saw at first my husband and children and then up popped an image of my boss and then other familiar faces, all within their own violet-colored bubbles. Giving myself a chance to mull this over, I came to the conclusion that everyone has their own energy needs when it comes to giving and receiving energy. Some people give and receive energy in a healthy manner while others do this in a very unhealthy way. An example of this is when someone wants something from another person and goes about getting that something by using manipulation. The individual manipulating the situation may not know that is what they are doing; all they may understand is that this is a very easy way to get what they want. When going into situations where there are going to be a lot of one-on-one personal encounters between me and other people I need to start envisioning them in their own violet-colored bubbles. I have been taught to do this for myself before, but have never thought to do this for others.

This image was directly connected to the next piece of advice I received. I was told that my energetic body was strong and I was still unknowingly attacking others (meaning using their energetic bodies) to gain more ego-driven closure in my own energetic field. Once I heard this voice the original visual flashed back into my mind of my acquaintances in violet-colored bubbles. Putting two and two together I then acknowledged that I was the one struggling with my energy and I was the one abusing this energetic connection between my energy and my acquaintances. I came to understand that the guides were showing me this visual of the violet-colored bubble as a preventative way to help protect those around me from my own energy. This is of course until I could gain full control over my own energetic body. While connecting these dots the words "manipulation" and "control" were spoken out loud to me and I was given a hand-held mirror to look into. I was made to feel that it is easy for me to see manipulation and control in others. The guides urged me to start looking in the mirror when I saw these things taking place around me and relayed that the people around me are acting out messages that I am refusing to see in myself. The symbolic meaning of a mirror is very powerful for me. Since I began this process I have used the mirror analogy to help deepen the questioning of a situation I didn’t fully get understand. The mirror technique has always helped me to figure out hidden self truths. Like most people, it is a lot easier for me to recognize dysfunctions in others before dysfunctions in myself.  When you shift your beliefs about the world and recognize everything happening around you is just a mirror of what you are denying in yourself, the discomfort received from individuals can help you to dive deeper into your own world of hidden emotions and patterning.

The next image that presented itself for review was a silhouette of my body wearing a type of energetic world wrestling belt. The belt had many energetic cords extending from it. These cords shot off into the distance and were connected to people like my husband and kids. I felt these cords of connection were heavy and slowing me down. I saw myself cutting through these cords by staying present and controlling the energies around me. By allowing the natural flow of life to emerge from all situations these cords disappeared from the belt at my waist. These guides, always reviewing lessons, of course, threw this in to tie directly back to the root chakra from last week. I asked if there was anything else at this time that I needed to know and kept hearing a voice say, “Give up control, give over your power.” I have explained that in my past there have been many traumas created by my inability to give up control and power. I had always used control as a means to compensate for the insecurities of my own sacral chakra. Hearing that I need to give up control and give over power makes sense, but it will definitely be my biggest challenge of the week. I was shown how I had become very dependent on other people’s energy. Truth be told this is not a new concept, but I never really looked at myself as being such a co-dependent person. In all honesty, this is something I denied up until this meditation session. It is a truth that has gone unrealized until now. I understand that this week will involve releasing control over others and allowing energy to flow naturally. I saw a visualization of myself falling into the arms of my husband surrendering to him and accepting the love and support that my sacral chakra needs. I was shown a dark image of a person extending their hand and giving me the stone that represented this chakra center. I understand that possibly at some point during this experience someone will present me with the stone that symbolizes this energy center's vibration.

I then proceeded to ask what others should know about their sacral chakras. The image I saw was of the same energetic violet-colored bubble, but this time surrounding masses of people around the world. I saw each bubble get sewed onto the next one creating a tapestry of shining bubbles. I interpreted this as a connection of universal energies and found myself contemplating a human shift. I felt as if people would be releasing their own energy and freely giving away what they thought was individual to them to enlighten and make better the people around them. This is where the visual gets a little weird, but the message is beautiful. I saw people exchanging their eyes for the eyes of the person in their neighboring bubble, which to me is symbolic of people trying to see the world from their neighbor’s point of view to gain more perspective and understanding. This image then zoomed out quickly to encompass a greater number of people. I know this to mean that if we start small with our one-on-one relationships and learn to use our energy and connections in a healthy manner we will heighten our own progress and be able to affect more people by transmitting on a grander scale, simply by finding more harmony within our own interpersonal relationships. I saw all of these people receiving and giving energy from their sacral chakras. It looked like a beautiful balance of yin and yang energy. Every drop of energy given out was given back in complete balance. I saw joy and happiness in people who could achieve this state of being. The last bit of information I heard was that people need to give more then they take and when we accomplish this method of living we will receive more abundance than we could ever imagine or even thought to ask for.

Now, backing up a bit, this morning I woke up in a complete sacral chakra power struggle. One of the arrangements my husband and I came up with after our April 25th cheating incident was that anytime he was going to drink more than two beers he was required to turn his phone off for the night. This was a simple enough agreement in my head, apparently not as simple for him. Two people, two different world views and way too many possible interpretations, I guess. After a night of too much drinking on his part my husband returned from his mother's villa, where the party was going on, to our villa and crawled into bed. After getting settled he proceeded to turn on his phone. I woke up, of course, and overreacted because this is the second time he has decided to forgo the agreement we had made about his phone being used after drinking. Completely beside myself I went to sleep on the couch that night and decided it best to save the argument for the following day.

Flash forward to today: the start of my sacral chakra week and Father's Day 2014. If I hadn’t been so mad I probably would have been laughing hysterically at the irony of the situation. People always say God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. If I could alter that statement I would change it to say, God doesn’t give you anything you aren’t meant to handle. So I wake up today after an uncomfortable night of sleeping on the couch and am faced with a power struggle and control issues yet again in my sacral chakra center. You find me writing to you this afternoon after already having one yelling match, one heart-to-heart conversation, a full meditation session and not yet any conflict resolution with my husband.

The heart-to-heart conversation ended with my husband apologizing for yet again allowing our relationship to reach a level of discomfort and unease. I explained to him that I am not upset at the current situation, but what the current situation represents. I asked how are we going to progress; how are we going to move from the past into the future if I can’t trust and you can’t keep your promises? As I spoke these words aloud I knew they were going against the lessons I had just learned during my week spent in the root chakra. I started this meditative session today allowing and knowing full well that the argument had not been resolved, but needed more time to process exactly what was going on from a much higher perspective. As I sit here writing in this peaceful and dusty screened-in porch, I reflect on the meditation that I just experienced. I review again the all the wonderful complexities of the sacral chakra.

Day one of my sacral chakra exploration and already a test. If I weren’t so fascinated by chakra theory I think I might be committed to a center for the insane right now. I sit here and find my mind flashing forward to the unwritten future, creating a lot of what-if scenarios surrounding my relationship. I am trying very hard to pull back and stay presently connected to this current situation, but it is taxing to say the least. The unknown future is what creates a lot of my frustration and it hasn’t even happened yet. I will choose to focus on the wise words and images I was able to see during meditation today. I understand a lot of my own insecurity has led to these reactions. I decide to fully look into the mirror right in front of me and confront the hidden truth I am unwilling to admit. While contemplating my role in this argument I acknowledge that I have created a lot of the circumstances behind this current situation. Focusing next on the control and trust issues, I also acknowledge that I need to have more trust in the people around me and release my vise grip of these situations. By controlling so much I am stifling the energy flow that is necessary for balance. The problem we are currently dealing with has been successfully admitted by both my husband and myself so there is no reason to allow more of my attention to be directed towards it. I must allow the situation to move forward without allowing this incident to make a lasting impression on my energetic body. I have the ability and power to forget this now and move on. I must chose to not give any more power to this situation. I know for a fact that if this were ever to happen again my mind would recall the incident with precise accuracy, so there is no need to hold on to it energetically and allow it to make a mark on my mind and body. I am going to trust my husband and allow him to take care of me by becoming vulnerable to this situation and surrendering myself back over to him. As an adult I can no longer try to control the circumstances of my husband's actions. I have to allow him to prove to me that he can love, honor, and respect me, and I must do the same for him. Without trust in each other our spiritual growth will not be able to come from a healthy place. My sacral chakra has enough mended wounds at this point to add another to the list would just be ridiculous. It is my choice from here on out to let go and move on. Trust and vulnerability will allow my sacral chakras to be set free and become fully engaged in more creative and loving endeavors.

Level 1 to Level 2 Transition

I see the light. My first journey, the spiritual emergency, had come to a close by twenty-three years of age. I stopped blaming my physical manifestations of headaches, insomnia, and bulimia on myself and other people and truly dealt with the root cause of what was screaming so loudly for my attention. I recently found out that the term spiritual emergency is an actual term meaning: a form of identity crisis where an individual experiences drastic changes to their meaning (i.e. their unique purposes, goals, values, attitude and beliefs, identity, and focus) typically because of a spontaneous spiritual experience.

Having never studied psychology, this term was completely new to me when I read it from a book one day. It resonated so deeply with me that I started using the term it could define what I was going through. I began using the words to describe my own process to people and found I could use these words to identify so many things in so many peoples’ lives. I haven’t looked much into how a psychologist might use this to classify someone on a case-by-case basis and don’t claim to understand the true meaning as it is defined in any modern psychology journal but would feel confident in using it to describe my own experience any day of the week. Through my journey, I came to believe the spiritual emergency was a way to unblock my spirit or my true self. There were authentic lessons and spiritual concepts that I had learned and understood very well prior to the emergency, but found it was near impossible for me to practice these knowing until the emergency took place. I later realized that my true self had to be released and my lower self had to be acknowledged before I would be allowed to move into spiritual practices that would not have benefitted me without the recognition of who I truly was. My authentic self was so buried under falsified personas and misleading concepts that for full physical transformation, in order to unlock all of the beauty that lay within, I had to go through my own unique hell.

If you're thinking that it seems like hard work to go through a spiritual emergency, you would be right! I found out shortly after this first transformational process ended that I could sit pretty enjoying my developments up to that point and relax into the understanding of my own consciousness, no longer being a slave to the patterning or conditions I had placed on myself.

I recognized with this newfound understanding of my consciousness that I could enjoy life more fully and enjoy all the unique attributes of myself and the people around me. I could stop here and let life happen as it may, choosing to partake in its glory until the end of my days. Sounds nice, right?

Well, the one thing about a spiritual process is that once you taste the nectar you don’t settle for just physical command over your personal journey. Like others, before me, I recognized a need to connect deeply to the seen and unseen aspects of life around me, and that is what led me to embark upon journey number two.  

The hardest part about living through a spiritual transformation like this is that people find when they come to see the light others around them are still in the dark. This becomes a tough situation for many people to handle, and could lead to leaving friends behind who no longer support the new you, or a move across the country, or a big career change, or something that completely detaches you from your former shadowed self. Think of the emergency as a way to shed your old skin and change into that shining light you were designed to be. Not all emergencies need to end in sudden change, but typically when we go through this form of change our spirit craves more to help us grow and learn from a higher plane of existence, and therefore change is bound to take place.

LEVEL 2 did not start until yet another MID-LIFE CRISIS took place to pull me back into self-actualization.

Level 1 the Physical Plane (step 7)

THE GOAL OF LEVEL 1

The completion of LEVEL 1 -> STEP 7, is defined as the Mid Life Crisis or the Spiritual Emergency (emerging). The entire process of living through these first seven steps is to accumulate what humans consider BAGGAGE or divine considers unique life EXPERIENCES so that the soul can have a singular personality and a perspective that can grow the collective experience.

The following stories have been taken from my first book “A 94-Chakra Journey” where I documented my own physical symptoms that allowed me to recognize I had limited my life experience which leads to the EMERGING process of the spirit.

Crown Chakra (step 7)

It wasn’t until I was older that I finally found a physical fix to my insomnia. During treatment for migraines, I realized that some symptoms were normal and some symptoms were not. When I started to discuss and seek assistance for my problems I found that doctors were more than willing to prescribe solutions to my symptoms. I first began a regime of muscle relaxers. I recognized this to be a prescription successful for my Grandma's insomnia. It was only a short time before I “graduated” from the muscle relaxers to sleeping pills, which erased my memory of the evening events, and also gave me hallucinations At this point in my spiritual emergency I was very literally numbing myself in order to not feel (or deal with) my mind and body. Physically I was still trying to quiet my mind so that I could control it. (Disassociation - Crown Chakra Block)

One night after moving back to my parents' house in Irvine, California around the age of 20, I, again, began to experience the onset of a severe migraine. At this point, I had been dependent on my pills for so long and detested the way the drugs now made my body feel. I clearly remember, before retrieving my pills, hearing a hushed, small voice inside my head asks, “what if the pills are creating your migraines?” Hearing this voice and contemplating the question gave me pause. I thought about my options. I knew the pain that lay ahead, so that night I downed my dosage of three migraine pills, with two to follow in the next hour. I applied cold compresses to my head and neck, had no feeling whatsoever in my body, and zoned out as expected. The next morning when I became clear-headed once again I recalled the question: What if the pills are empowering my migraines? This time, with a new perspective, I started to break down the recent experience with my migraines. Were the migraines all in my head, so to speak?  I decided on the spot, with conviction, that the prior night would be the last time I would ever take my headache medicine. I discontinued everything from the smallest dose of aspirin to the heavy stuff. I went cold turkey. 

The next six months were some of the most excruciating of my young life: I dealt with migraines, insomnia, and bulimia simultaneously while halting all forms of painkillers to erase my discomfort. The fight was epic; however, I remember experiencing such a sense of accomplishment and power from the fact that I completely surrendered the battle, allowing my mind to be released. My head, my brain, my mind was in a figurative vice grip, and I had finally given up and set it free. The seat of my soul was alive and speaking to me, and I was the one who initiated that breakthrough.

My opinion, which is also that of many chakra teachings, is that migraines are directly connected to your third eye chakra. The third eye chakra is sometimes referred to as "the seat of your soul."  My journey to becoming free included relinquishing the life-crushing grasp on my mind and soul and allowing my true self to be set free. This was the first step in my emergency. My process had begun and as I’ve stated earlier, once your emergency starts there is no stopping it.

The next step to healing and progressing to LEVEL 2 was recognizing that I was going through the emerging process or what some consider the mid-life crisis.

During a spiritual emergency, the chakra system spins in a way that allows the person having the experience enough perspective over his or her own situation to begin to question everything going on around him or her. This is important because the person must have a great deal of perspective over his or her own situation in order to bring into context what is out of order and no longer working. One of my beliefs is that our chakras spin like they do to help our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies process things happening to us on all these inter-dimensional levels. On one level our Chakras spin energetically to bring more awareness into our field of perception. When this doesn’t get our attention the Chakras will spin energetically and bring positive or negative situations into our field of perception so that we may learn what is needed to move forward. When we go through this clearing process, our energy centers may latch onto another human being, a sort of spiritual hitchhiking, most of the time unknowing. The energetic system will begin its hitchhiking by blaming others, ourselves, or situations for what we are experiencing, going through denial, passing judgment on others, and seeking approval from others on the correctness and accuracy of our own process. When we find ourselves hitchhiking we must seek out awareness that an emergency is a state of being that is intended to get us to change our constitution and if we regress back into old patterns we will stop our emergency from fully blossoming. Be mindful while going through these experiences in your own lives and remember it is hard work. There are subtle reminders that we are on the right path and it is important to listen to those internal voices and reminders when they present themselves.

Level 1 the Physical Plane (step 6)

THE GOAL OF LEVEL 1

The completion of LEVEL 1 -> STEP 7, is defined as the Mid Life Crisis or the Spiritual Emergency (emerging). The entire process of living through these first seven steps is to accumulate what humans consider BAGGAGE or divine considers unique life EXPERIENCES so that the soul can have a singular personality and a perspective that can grow the collective experience.

The following stories have been taken from my first book “A 94-Chakra Journey” where I documented my own physical symptoms that allowed me to recognize I had limited my life experience which leads to the EMERGING process of the spirit.

Third Eye Chakra (Step 6)

Did you ever go to school with a kid in your class who did explainable things? I was that kid in class who would crawl under my teacher’s desk and roll into a fetal position because the light and sounds hurt so badly. I used to get tunnel vision in high school and fall out of my chair because I was so nauseated and sick. I participated in a research case study, which took place at a hospital, to study migraines headaches.  We tried so many of the latest and greatest medications. I remember some would make my migraines exponentially more intense, others would numb me to the point of feeling nothing in my body.

During this particular time I was living in Wayne, Michigan, and on this day, this “episode” ended with me passed out in the back seat of my mother’s car. We were parked in the emergency room parking lot of a hospital, but we never went in. Earlier that day I was experiencing one of my tantrums, moving from room to room in our house, screaming, pulling my hair, banging my head on the walls and floor. As I was completely inconsolable and unable to calm down, my mom put my sister and me in our car seats and proceeded to drive to the hospital. Finally, my screaming stopped abruptly, and I fell fast asleep (probably worn out) as we were driving into the hospital parking lot. Relieved, baffled, and too young to know any better, she drove us back home, never going inside of the hospital.

Later on, we learned that this was probably the start of my migraine headaches. These episodes were common in my childhood and throughout my own spiritual emergency. As a very young child, throughout my teens, and into my twentieth year, I suffered greatly from head-splitting migraines. This is a symptom of my spiritual emergency, just as a sore throat may be a symptom of a cold. For me, these migraines appeared repeatedly, representing the struggle between the mind and the soul. I had many battles with my mind and only later did I understand how to let go of the control I tried to impose upon myself.

For me, my spiritual emergency happened at such a young age that my initial approach to “heal” myself also was very elementary, very “western philosophy.”  During this time my chakra system was not fully matured, so I coped with my symptoms on a very physical level.  My migraines were a desperate cry to release my mind and the hold it had over my body, but my only available approach was to numb myself with medication.     

Level 1 the Physical Plane (step 5)

THE GOAL OF LEVEL 1

The completion of LEVEL 1 -> STEP 7, is defined as the Mid Life Crisis or the Spiritual Emergency (emerging). The entire process of living through these first seven steps is to accumulate what humans consider BAGGAGE or divine considers unique life EXPERIENCES so that the soul can have a singular personality and a perspective that can grow the collective experience.

The following stories have been taken from my first book “A 94-Chakra Journey” where I documented my own physical symptoms that allowed me to recognize I had limited my life experience which leads to the EMERGING process of the spirit.

Throat chakra (Step 5)

To find the light at the end of the tunnel I first had to find out what the final physical manifestation of my spiritual emergency was. I had come to understand that the final element I needed to acknowledge and heal in myself was my problem with bulimia. When you begin limiting the flow of energy to your chakras you start to witness the impact it creates on a physical level. A physical manifestation of a problem means your entire energetic body system (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual) has been compromised.  At 16 I was also diagnosed HYPER THYROID then bounced between HYPER and HYPO. I controlled my eating, my binging and my body reflected this in swinging between extremes in my hormones.

Since this disease had taken hold of me I had wanted it to stop. Bulimia is an ugly and secretive disease. Later in life even with the love of a future husband, I had to reconcile with the younger version of myself who was striving for perfection and had feelings of unworthiness and fear. This isn’t a disease someone can help you out of; the wounds have to be mended on a personal level to hope for a healthy and non-relapse recovery. For me, the healing process started a few years before I fully gave up the disease. By twenty-three I had completely stopped this controlling disorder. One thing that helped me was making my struggles public so people were aware of my hidden shadow side. The unraveling process that I had discovered years later looked something like this: On a spiritual level, I needed to gain the lesson of transformation in order to grow into my next level of spiritual understanding. I dealt with a perception of myself that was based on a false analysis created by distorted energy in my lower chakras. I had no awareness of my true self and had created a persona I thought would be acceptable to most people’s worldview. I had created what could be called my lower self. On a mental level, I portrayed myself as the arrogant know-it-all who could do anything, be anything, achieve anything and had it all. Truthfully, most people would have agreed that this was spot-on who I was. On an emotional level, I had low self-esteem because I strived for perfection and nothing I did ever lived up to my perception of who I should be at that point in my life. On a physical level, I had a major ego and personality battle’s which translated into bulimia and self-imposed control over my life. Food was a source of control. I was dealing with my own physical transformation by trying to control my life through the food I ate. The control resulted in a constriction of my spiritual self that leads to a restricted sense of authenticity.

Level 1 the Physical Plane (step 4)

THE GOAL OF LEVEL 1

The completion of LEVEL 1 -> STEP 7, is defined as the Mid Life Crisis or the Spiritual Emergency (emerging). The entire process of living through these first seven steps is to accumulate what humans consider BAGGAGE or divine considers unique life EXPERIENCES so that the soul can have a singular personality and a perspective that can grow the collective experience.

The following stories have been taken from my first book “A 94-Chakra Journey” where I documented my own physical symptoms that allowed me to recognize I had limited my life experience which leads to the EMERGING process of the spirit.

HEART CHAKRA (step 4)

Because of all the pain medication, I was put on to treat my migraines at a young age and then the sleeping medication my body naturally started to become dependent and slowed down showing signs of depression. Not one to question the medication we assumed this was just another symptom of a dysfunctional childhood. Taken back to the doctors I was diagnosed with depression and put on different pills and does of mood-stabilizing medication to make me feel better. Thankfully a result of this medication was weight gain, which a girl struggling with control issues and social pressure was not going to deal with so after a year or so of this medication I stopped taking it so that my body would drop the extra weight, which allowed the highs and lows to continue unchecked.

Level 1 the Physical Plane (step 3)

The goal of LEVEL 1

The completion of LEVEL 1 -> STEP 7, is defined as the Mid Life Crisis or the Spiritual Emergency (emerging). The entire process of living through these first seven steps is to accumulate what humans consider BAGGAGE or divine considers unique life EXPERIENCES so that the soul can have a singular personality and a perspective that can grow the collective experience.

The following stories have been taken from my first book “A 94-Chakra Journey” where I documented my own physical symptoms that allowed me to recognize I had limited my life experience which leads to the EMERGING process of the spirit.

SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA (step 3)

During my sleepless nights, dealing with my wounded second chakra energy, I would come up with strategies for my future. Because the energy of my second charka was damaged and unhealthy, I would plan ways to become completely self-reliant and independent of everyone. I made list after list of goals, which I set for myself to relieve the burden of this unhealthy second chakra energy. I knew I had to be successful; I knew I had to do everything on my own. I wasn’t going to be reliant on anyone. I wanted fame and, of course, I wanted recognition for all of these goals I set for myself. 

You will now see how this sacral chakra energy ties in greatly to the development of my third chakra (solar plexus). A chakra's energy, healthy or deficient, will always affect the development of another chakra, and in the above example, you can see how my personal rejection of the second chakra energy denied me a flow in life and made me want to seek out approval for my gained successes by receiving that energy through my worldly success, not the genuine companionship of real relationships. The internalization of the abuse also led me to have low self-confidence. The solar plexus chakra symbolizes a person’s willpower, their self-confidence, their own self-love, and healthy ambitions. As I said before, anyone who knew me back then would claim some of my strongest qualities centered on the attributes of the second and third chakra, but to me, the pain and control was my way of avoiding the issues I didn’t want to deal with. If I could create a world where I could be seen as being confident, self-assured, emotionally stable, artistic and totally passionate then I wouldn’t really have to deal with the abuse I had experienced.  I created a fairly opaque veil, so muddy that I even fooled myself.  During my emergency, this is where my insomnia, migraines, and bulimia came into the picture. If you deny the energies of these chakras long enough they will manifest in physical problems and force you to deal with them. With my knowledge today I am able to analyze my experiences from that crucial time in life. Through many meditation sessions and conversations about the abuse, I have grown and mended the dysfunctional world views I created for myself back then, and this allowed me to finally heal from the traumas of my past.

Before moving forward I feel it is necessary to share one of my personal philosophies surrounding chakras. It is something that helped me understand myself better and get rid of some of the complexes I unknowingly held onto for so long. Here is my philosophy: the most amazing qualities in an individual most often turn out to be derived from the areas where they have dealt with the most trauma or overcame the most diversity. Sometimes these qualities are developed from a healthy chakra and sometimes these qualities are developed from an unhealthy chakra, the only difference being that a person may be portraying a true or false representation of themselves somewhat unknowingly. A way I like to see through this illusion and false identification is by using a method I call the mirror technique. What we dislike most in someone else is typically an issue we may need to work on in ourselves. Chose to look into the mirror and recognize if you truly dislike this person (never the case) or could it be that they are here to show you something you are denying in yourself. Likewise what you recognize as strength in another might just be the area they perceive as their biggest weakness. In life, I like to constantly check the mirror when I am feeling any kind of emotion and really try to gain other points of view and different perspectives before I claim anything as true. This technique becomes very helpful when trying to discover the shadows in your chakras, something we will review later.

Level 1 the Physical Plane (step 2)

The goal of LEVEL 1

The completion of LEVEL 1 -> STEP 7, is defined as the Mid Life Crisis or the Spiritual Emergency (emerging). The entire process of living through these first seven steps is to accumulate what humans consider BAGGAGE or divine considers unique life EXPERIENCES so that the soul can have a singular personality and a perspective that can grow the collective experience.

The following stories have been taken from my first book “A 94-Chakra Journey” where I documented my own physical symptoms that allowed me to recognize I had limited my life experience which leads to the EMERGING process of the spirit.

SACRAL CHAKRA (step 2)

As you explore your own sacral chakra, you’ll notice its focus is on creativity, passion, sexual energy, personal identity and emotional boundaries.  In my case, the second chakra expresses some of the most vibrant parts of my being, like painting and the passion I bring to situations, but it also hides some of my darkest secrets. A past victim of sexual abuse and an abuser of others, I am someone who learned how to use emotional manipulation to get what I wanted out of life. This led to me having unhealthy expectations and understandings of one-on-one relationships. You see, our second chakra deals with all the one-on-one personal relationships we have, and furthermore, how we conduct ourselves within those relationships. I am keenly aware of how to read and measure the second chakra energy of others; mostly for me this was a learned primal instinct, used as a protective defense mechanism. Later in life, because I was so acutely aware of people's second chakra energy, I unknowingly used this sensitivity to my benefit and manipulated people using this own second chakra energy

As stated I was unfortunately a victim of abuse.  If I can be thankful for anything, I can be grateful this was not a constant theme in my life, though it did lead to a cascade of several damaging outcomes. My entire method of receiving energies from the sacral chakra center became convoluted and twisted; these are wires I am still trying to uncross today. As a result of the abuse, I became overly sexually active.  Therefore, I grew up with an unhealthy understanding of sexual relationships. I learned very young that sex was a secret for me and therefore I have a very hard time expressing myself when it comes to my sexuality. I was very good at using my femininity to get what I wanted. I closed myself off emotionally to men and allowed for only superficial relationships to take place. Back then the sexual abuse made me think that I would have to provide for myself and that I could never rely on others to give me what I needed emotionally or physically because no matter how genuine they might appear, all they really wanted from me was something physical.

Because I was manipulated at such a young age through this chakra center, I found that later on, this was how I interpreted almost all of my one-on-one relationships. I either manipulated my partners or they manipulated me. Because I was not open emotionally and not fully aware of the barricade I built, I didn’t connect genuinely with others in close relationships at work, with friends, or with my family. It felt to me as if every one-on-one relationship came with an expectation or a hidden agenda. Even to this day in my marriage, I find myself sizing up or comparing what we bring to the relationship and using this as a form of manipulation to gain power over him. This jaded view of interpersonal relationships was a horrible way to grow up as a young girl and is one of my biggest struggles to this day, as I still attempt to rise above its stronghold on me and heal. I was twenty-seven when meditation finally allowed me to see myself through the eyes of this chakra and discover how I had used manipulation over the years.

Level 1 the Physical Plane (steps 1)

The goal of LEVEL 1

The completion of LEVEL 1 -STEP 7, is defined as the Mid Life Crisis or the Spiritual Emergency (emerging). The entire process of living through these first seven steps is to accumulate what humans consider BAGGAGE or divine considers unique life EXPERIENCES so that the soul can have a singular personality and a perspective that can grow the collective experience.

The following stories have been taken from my first book “A 94-Chakra Journey” where I documented my own physical symptoms that allowed me to recognize I had limited my life experience which leads to the EMERGING process of the spirit.

ROOT CHAKRA (step 1)

At age thirteen I had become a full-blown insomniac, sleeping between thirty minutes and three hours on any given night. The pattern of sleeplessness never changed for me, as I always talked to God, I planned out my future, I criticized myself, I though in never-ending circles. There wasn’t a thought inside my head I didn’t visit during the night. One thing I didn’t understand back then was why there wasn’t any silence inside my mind, why I couldn’t find a spot where the mind chatter and voices would stop and allow me respite. I later learned this was the point when I began to close off my psychic abilities. As children, we have openings in our field that allow us to see between the veils of time and space, and because of some traumatic incident we usually close off these abilities. This was the beginning of my spiritual trauma where I started discrediting things trying to get my attention. This is about the time in my life when I lost complete connection with my root chakra.

The root chakra's job is to keeps us connected to the physical world and helps us feel safe and secure in the life we are destined to live. It allows us the ability to connect freely from day to day. moving around our lives knowing that we are divine beings who have divine purposes. I didn’t realize until much later in life that my psychic attunement was drastically taking place at the age of thirteen. I didn’t know what was going on and having no help to guide me I feared what was happening to my body and more specifically my mind. Had I known I was close to a breakthrough and had I gone along with the spiritual emergency my life would probably be completely different today, but fearing the changes I was experiencing and having a family unknowing of the spiritual process I was embarking on we sought out the help of western doctors, whose prescription was to numb the situation to allow for normalcy in my life.